MODERN PARENTING: WHAT WORKS WONDERS IN RAISING CHILDREN

By : Stephen Inah SMM IHRC

The proof of modern parenting is in the children. We live in an ever-changing world and knowledge-based economy. An educated and skilled population is needed to create, share and use knowledge to compete in business, science, technology and innovation. Our children including parents must be able to adapt to changes of this sort. The traditional type of parenting may not be suitable for us to follow or serve as a reference. 

As parents, it is important to explore the most suitable type of parenting for our children. Because parenting has no guide book except the good book (Holy Bible) of our Lord Jesus Christ (Eph.6:4). 

We come to parenting with what comes at us from our traditional homes. It is only the conscious mind that can shift the narrative from bad to good, old to new order. 

Modern parents are always open to learning about new and better ways to bring up their young ones. They directly influence how their children will be in an effort to raise a good child. Such parent-simply conduct themselves in the way they want their children to act or behave. In other words, they choose to be a role model to their offspring. Be aware that you are constantly being watched by your children. Studies have shown that children who hit (or bully others), fight or bully others usually have a role model for aggression at home. 

As your child changes, you will gradually have to change your parenting style. Chances are what works with your child now, may not work as well as in a year or two to come. Simply be flexible and willing to adjust your parentally system and leadership. At a point, teenagers begin to look less to their parents and more to their friends (Peers) for role model. However, as modern parent you continue to provide guidance, encouragement and seize every available moment to make a connection for correction. 

Every parent is raising a person who will go out into the larger world and interact with others for the rest of his/her life. You will agree with me that the child of today’s world faces many more difficult challenges than the parents or grandparents did in the past. 

Life itself is hard. It has its winds blowing, and its waves tend to blow our children away and lead them away astray. E.g. smoking, cultism, drunkenness, stealing, drug addiction, advance-free-fraud (yahoo yahoo) etc. Children who are not disciplined will remain unpleasant selfish and surprisingly unhappy. The rules your child learned from you will shape the rules he / she shall apply to him/ herself in the journey of life. 

Simply view  parenting as a  manageable job. Focus on the areas requiring urgent attention rather than trying to address everything all at once like traditional parents. Traditional parenting believes a child can be raised successfully by the entire family, village or community. The child has little or nothing to say in any matter considered wrong anytime anywhere. It is the duty of anybody to interfere wherever they feel that child is not acting according to the set standard, belief and ideologies of the family. This accounts for why many homes leave the education and discipline of a child to teachers at school excluding themselves at home from their primary roles. 

To draw a conclusion, may I beg you to join hands with us to change the narratives from the old to the new order. At school, teacher gives a child general literacy (able to read and write) and scientific knowledge. However, at home parents are expected to give a child general wisdom of life. Sad to say many parents are not consistent, when parents are not regular and doing their work repeatedly, children becomes greatly confused.

 If you leave the growth and development of your child to intellectual reinforcement alone, and your child misbehaves is your fault, not his. In matter of principle, discipline (Prov. 13:24, 22:15, 29:15) parents must stand like a rock from their respective home to outside and be liquid enough to find something to praise everyday in your child when he or / she does something good. Be generous with rewards – your love, hugs and compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find you are “growing” more of the behaviour you will like to see. Parenting is doing yourself consistently in a right way, nurturing and understanding their opinion at the same time, together we will have the best outcome as our children continues to grow

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